Many parenting books currently rebuke the whole idea of a schedule, condemning the clock and advocating on-demand feedings and immediate responses to your baby's needs.  Unfortunately this system does not, in the end, help your child develop freedom, balance, or self-esteem, because it does not create security in your infant.  With this system, you are essentially putting a small infant, who does not yet comprehend day and night and is overwhelmed by the world in general, in charge of his life.  This system also reeks havoc on your life as a parent and usually creates desperately over-tired and stressed adults.  Many parents attempting this regime often fall into the trap of misinterpreting their baby's needs and thus not meeting them at all.  For example, many parents interpret their baby's ever-present desire to suckle as a cry for food.  They then overfeed their infants, which can actually cause more fussiness and even contribute to colic.

However, using a schedule can be just as disastrous, making the parent a slave to the clock and creating insecurity in an infant when his/her needs are not met.  Using a structure or routine is not the same as a schedule.  With a schedule, your baby's day is based on the clock.  Babies need more flexibility than the clock will allow since they are changing almost daily.   Babies do, however, need predictability, which is what a structure or routine can provide.  With a basic structure in place, your baby quickly learns what to expect in her daily life and then develops security in her world and trust in you as her parent.  Building on her well-developed security, your child will eventually develop freedom, balance, and self-esteem.

Tracy Hogg, the acclaimed "Baby Whispeer", suggests a routine of eating, activity, and sleep.  This means that you routinely feed your baby, then allow him a little time for activity (playing, diaper changing, bath, etc.), and then allow him to sleep.  Your baby will quickly learn the pattern and become more secure as he learns that he can predict what will happen to him next.  This also helps parents to better meet the needs of their baby, because her needs become clearer.   For instance, if you fed your baby 2 hours ago and she is now playing but starts to fuss, you can quickly rule out hunger and address her need for a change of scenery or her need for quiet due to over stimulation.  As parents use less guesswork and the baby's needs are met more quickly, she gains more security, which makes for a happier baby overall; one who is more willing to venture out into the world.

Although you don't want to be ruled by the clock, it is important that parents keep a general eye on the time, especially as babies become toddlers and young children.  You, as the parent want to keep meals, naps, and bedtime close to the same time each day so that your baby's internal clock can adjust, but it's fine if those times change slightly from day to day due to baby's needs.  Remember that your baby comes into this world with no concept of day and night.  Sleeping primarily at night rather than all day is a learned behavior, and it is the parents' responsibility to teach that behavior to the baby. 

This principle can be employed even if your child is no longer an infant.  However, be prepared for your toddler or older child to require more time to adjust to this new pattern.  Remember, children crave what is familiar.  Therefore, if lack of structure is the norm, then it may take some time for your child to feel secure in a structured environment.  It is very important to not mistake familiarity with security.  There may be some initial resistance, but your child will be happier in the end.  There truly is no such animal as a child, especially not an infant, who "likes" continually loud noise, chaos, or unpredictability.

This system can also be applied to more specific routines, such as bedtime rituals. Babies, as well as older children and even adults, need time to wind down from the activities of the day.  Creating a bedtime routine with several steps, such as bath, stories, lullaby, and then sleep make the transition from daily activities to sleep smoother.

The best part of all is that establishing structure and routines creates happier parents, since less energy and less trial and error is used in an attempt to care for your baby.  When used with toddlers, this system will also create fewer power struggles between you and your child.  Parents, not just children, will thrive as their lives become more predictable.  As your child gains security, he is more willing and able to play by himself and to self-sooth and even go to sleep without constant holding or rocking.  This grants parents more free time for themselves, so that they can get more rest and accomplish more of their own tasks, thus reducing stress.  In the end this will create a happier family life overall and help all members of the family live a ValueCentered Life.

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