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The Tree
of ValueCentered Knowledge ®:
Building
Strong Children and Strong Relationships
We already live lives that are governed by CoreValues
within us although if we are not strong and clear we may be buffeted by
impulse and whim. I want us to understand how we operate, take
charge and make our lives truly ValueCentered.
The Tree – A Metaphor
The whole thing starts with understanding what a tree
is and how it works. Let me tell you it's obvious, in order to do well, a
tree needs the following things:
First, a tree must have a sound and healthy root
system to anchor it and gather the initial nourishment it needs from the
earth. Secondly, a tree needs a healthy and solid trunk to provide a
conduit through which the elements flow and that is strong enough to allow
the tree to reach up and yet be flexible enough to bend without breaking.
Third, it must have clean, healthy leaves that capture the
brightness of the sun converting the basic elements that the tree has into
life-giving food for strength and growth. Finally, the tree needs a
way to connect with the rest of nature to create the balance that
comes from that connection bringing health and life … it needs the flower or
scent or loose pollen that floats on the wind (or whatever the particular
tree has) to become all that it might become.
The
Tree of ValueCentered Knowledge
The Tree of ValueCentered Knowledge is like any
tree, but each part plays an important role in our lives. Each part is part
of our nature. Each part is something we will fight for … at times even die
for. The following tells the ideal story:
At our roots that anchor us, ground us and nourish us is
SECURITY.
It is only when we are secure enough can we take the next healthy step.
If we are secure enough, we can reach up and flex our
FREEDOM … our independence, our
individuality … through our sense of power and our desire to exercise
control over things around us. We can be free from trouble and
free to reach out and up. If we have
Security and Freedom
established in a sound, healthy way, we can experience our sense of
ESTEEM and actually
govern our actions by what is good for us … that makes us feel
good because it is right. Feel-good motives without the right foundation
can lead to self-centered behavior that in the end is not good for anyone,
but a correctly grounded life is one with
motives that can be trusted. If
Security and Freedom
and Esteem are well established, we
reach up to create BALANCE in our lives in which we create a healthy,
complete, integrated life that brings success and personal power … that
brings happiness and opportunity for ourselves and for those with whom we
share our lives. It makes no differences whether we are rich or poor … no
matter what our “walk of life” … the same principles that apply to the
populace apply to the kings
There
Needs be Opposition in All Things
When we consider what we move towards in our experience
and decisions, we might also consider the opposite: what we move away from.
We need to know two points to define a line (a road) along which we might
travel.
Secure – Insecure
Free – Bound
Esteemed – Derogated
Balanced – Imbalanced.
Feelings and Values and Thoughts
We talk of a ValueCentered Knowledge, but that is just the leading voice
in a unified, system of voices: Values are the principles by which we
establish priorities and make decisions. There is no Value without a Feeling
in every case in which we act. There is no Feeling/Value without a Thought
being associated with it; the Feeling/Value or thought may or may not be articulated … but there is
the opportunity for each Feeling/Value to have associated with it an
articulated thought with each Feeling/Value. There is no Rational -
Emotional opposition. When someone says: “My head tells me one thing and my
heart tells me something else...” the translation goes something like this:
“I have an articulated thought that I haven’t connected to the
Feelings/Values that goes with it. I am aware of a Feeling/Value that isn’t
tied to a clearly articulated Thought. All
I know is that every Feeling/Value has a thought that can be found and every
thought has emotion and values associated with it.
- When the thought and the Feeling/Value don’t seem to go together
… I seem pulled in two different directions.”
-If we put it all together, we will see what’s happening
…but, we may have to dig around a bit to get it right.”
It is imperative, when we think about the Tree, that
we do not believe that Feelings/Values nearer the top of the Tree are more
important or more desirable. A Tree is a living, integrated entity that
needs all the parts to do their job to make the total system work. Each
part is important. |
